do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize