You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
