Christians are straight up FREAKS
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My vagina is very pro this idea
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
