Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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