we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
