so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
