i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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