I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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