i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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