My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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