Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish I only lived at night.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You left your underwear on the fireplace
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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