i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize