I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize