like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
