Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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