My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's Friday. Sex?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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