He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
