i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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