did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
