Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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