We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
