i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
