What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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