I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
