Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
