Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize