Kiss
Puke
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
