"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
its not stalking. its research.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
