you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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