No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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