i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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