This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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