When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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