Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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