The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have fence marks all over my body
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
