I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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