i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
