he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
