i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
