you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
operation have a gay friend backfired
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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