It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
