I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
