I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
