You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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