It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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