My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
