I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
