I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
