If i come over, it means nothing
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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