If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
