We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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