Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
