I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
