god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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