haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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