theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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