Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
