Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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