hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
