the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's shark week go big or go home
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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