It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize