So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
